


I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

by ordika



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:35:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28078563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ordika/pseuds/ordika
Summary: Zag says something stupid, Thanatos reacts in a very... Thanatos way. As in, poofing away wordlessly and avoiding Zag for weeks. Then, smut ensues.
Relationships: Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 229





	1. lost & found

Sleep has never come easily or naturally, even, to the inhabitants of the dreaded House of Hades. Yet, after everything that had just transpired, Zagreus found himself wishing just for that. A long, peaceful night (or day, whichever) of sleep, for him to just... come to terms with everything. The night had been an unprecedented one in terms of pace and sincerity.

But that was exactly what he was trying to forget. He took a few steps toward his bed, his knees buckling. He simply chose to fall forward, landing flat on his face, his legs hanging off, but he didn't care.

"Hypnos..." he murmured, hoping that the sleepy god would somehow hear him. He wished only for sleep, yet couldn't bring himself to keep talking, suddenly reminded of the fateful brother he was trying to forget in the first place. Thankfully, his half-expressed wish was granted, and sleep claimed him, erasing all feeling and memory - at least for a while.

¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ 

"Ah, Hypnos, hello," he said, as casually as he could the following day (or night).

"Oh, well, if it isn't Mr. Sleepyhead himself," Hypnos said with a mischievous smile. "If I am not mistaken, you officially requested a dose of long and dreamless sleep. And, hey, that's correct, I have the paperwork right here!"

And with that, the ever slumbering god tossed his pile of parchments in Zagreus' face. And indeed, there it was on the edge of the uppermost one, scribbled hastily in Hypnos' handwriting.

"Yes, that. I wanted to thank you for indulging me, even though I don't think I made a lot of sense."

"Oh, believe me, I've heard it enough from mortals, I know just what to listen for! Well, I hope you've enjoyed my services!"

"Huh, yes, always." Recognizing the dismissal in Hypnos' tone, he still shuffled around a little, trying to decide whether to risk it. Oh, well. "Um, hey, Hypnos. You haven't happened to hear from Thanatos lately, have you? He... uh."

Not finding it in himself to lie, he chose to just stay silent on the matter of why exactly he's looking for the elusive god of death.

"Thanatos? Why, I can't say I have. Although he must be keeping himself very busy indeed, what with all these souls flooding in. I've been tempted to ask for help, but I fear they might just replace me entirely."

So that was that. Than was off to work, much like he always was. Zagreus took a more careful look at the hallway near the pool of Styx, and was surprised how terribly unobservant he had been. The place was practically filled to the brim; if the shades here had actual physical form, they wouldn't have been able to fit in there at all.

Let's see if I can do something about this.

¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

He took Mort with him on his next security run, as he usually did, but just to make sure, he pocketed the small butterfly he got from Than, too, all that time ago. Even so, he chose to be patient, and only called out to him in the fields of Elysium, the most fitting place to meet up in the underworld. Yet, all through his fight, there was no answer.

Picking up his coin, he looked around. Called out again, seemingly to no avail. No hush of wings, no chill in the air, not even that ominous toll. He threw his sword on the ground, and let out a scream. This whole situation was... unfair. Sure, Than needed time, as he did for just about anything, but this time was different. Their conversation happened so quickly, Zagreus couldn't even catch on until it was too late. He still had a lot to say, damn it. He needed to say all of that. Something, at least.

Exhausted, and not just from the ceaseless fighting, he sat down in the wonderful grass of this eternal paradise. Lost in thought, he didn't even realize he had received company.

"Zagreus," an all too familiar voice called out. He sounded so distant, so cold, it should have frozen his heart solid, yet it was beating faster than ever. He turned to see Thanatos standing a few feet away from him, feet on the ground, balancing himself on his scythe. He, too, looked tired. "You called."

Picking himself up, Zagreus started toward Than, but the god took an instinctive step back, halting Zagreus' movements.

"Twice. You getting a little rusty, I should say," he tried in a teasing manner.

"I've been neglecting my duties of late. As I am doing so right now. Let's just get this over with so I can get back, shall we?"

Ouch.

"Than, I..."

"I would prefer if you stopped asking for my help from now on. It is nice to see Mort moving around, so I will not ask you to leave him in the house, but know this. I will not come around again."

"But... Than, why-"

"You've proven yourself capable of handling yourself, as you yourself have told me repeatedly. Consider this my belated agreement."

"But things have changed since then, surely."

Death Incarnate regarded him with a gaze he used to collect the souls of mortals.

"Indeed. I have work to do. You as well."

He disappeared in a flash of wings.

He hardened himself, picked up his sword, and headed to the next chamber. Death's not the only one who can bury himself in his work.

¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

It is funny how losing one person ended up bringing him closer with most of his other friends.

His first strategy was, obviously, to work himself to death, over and over again, but that became old really soon. Next up, he chose to resume his relationship with Megaera. And no, he wasn't hoping to spur Thanatos into jealousy, most definitely not. But, had he entertained any such hopes, they would have squashed very soon. His newfound activities did result in an appearance by the god of death, but he spoke only to Meg, and disappeared the moment he saw Zagreus staring at him. And Meg, faithful friend as ever, refused to tell him what their conversation was about.

Having tried anything and everything he could think of, he ended up simply giving in. Every time he awoke in the pool of Styx, his first journey would take him straight to the administrative chamber. And well, maybe he did leave the door open, and maybe, yes, he was also just there to keep watch on Than's usual place, but hey, he did try to motivate those poor shades working their afterlife away. He actually ended up doing more work in there than ever before.

His usual stroll would take him to the guardpost of Achilles, where they would talk of underworld wretches, the pain of heartbreak, and the joyous life (or death, or whatever they wished to call it) the great hero was now allowed to share with his beloved. Staying so connected to his old sword master gave him immense relief, knowing someone understood his position, one that they never even had to talk about.

He kept lounging around the hallway, trying to connect a bit more with Hypnos, nagging him for any news of his brother, to no avail. The only thing both of them could see of Than was his handiwork: he truly was working his ass off. As a result, so much work was poured on his parents that he sadly could not enjoy his mother's company, she seemed to be always taking care of one thing or other. But he didn't mind it, she seemed happily occupied, enjoying her place in all of this. He was just glad to see her settled.

Instead, he turned to Nyx for motherly advice, both for himself and his stray lover. She was helpful on some occasions, cryptic on others, but remained steadfast in her love for him - for the both of them.

"Give him time, child," she'd told him repeatedly. "My son is not used to company, much less of a kind you have offered him. He will talk to you once he is ready, but he will not abandon you. Have patience."

Well, such things were easier said than done. For several weeks he had heeded Than's words and not called him, yet after a particularly exhausting run (courtesy of the pact), he just couldn't take it anymore. Seating himself on the riverbank, he called out repeatedly to Thanatos. Doing so on the surface was always a little tricky, after all, Mort was a creature of the underworld, but he didn't care. 

"Than, look. I know I... said some things. I know you need your time. But it's been weeks now, and I just... I can't go on like this. I know you still have some sort of feelings for me, you would have told me if we were completely over. But Than, please. Just hear me out. I just want to talk to you. Just to see you again. Please." He felt his life draining away in the cold surface sunset. "Than, I love you."

His body slumped forward, lifeless, but he never hit the river. He could not feel cold arms gently fold his body, nor hear the soft flapping of wings as death himself carried him back to his home underground.

¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

Having experienced it over a hundred times already, Zagreus thought he knew all about death. But this particular awakening felt more like the end to a peaceful slumber, less the result of a horrid surface tragedy. Lifting his head to clear the blood-red waters of the river from his face, he realized he was quite dry, and very much lying down somewhere. Had he fallen asleep at some point?

Sitting up, he saw he wasn't in his bedroom, but the west hall of the palace. Achilles wasn't at his post (thankfully), but the muffled sounds of the overworked house still reached his ears. Looking around, he realized, mortified, that he was lying in the sofa he had commissioned for Than. Blushing deeply, his first instinct was to disappear, as quickly as possible. But, then again, noone seemed to be around. This was the closest he'd felt to his onetime lover in weeks, a feeling he was reluctant to let go of, so instead of making a rushed escape, he chose to lie back and relish this guilty pleasure.

He was interrupted merely a few minutes later.

"You're awake," called out a voice he had longed to hear for weeks. His heart leapt, and he felt his world spinning. There was a familiar chill in the air, and he found himself closing his eyes as he turned slowly around.

He opened his eyes to find the ever-immaculate, haughty Death Incarnate sitting slumped in one of the chairs he had commissioned months earlier, pieces of furniture he'd vowed he'd never use. His hair was perfect as ever, yet his eyes seemed tired, his posture speaking of exhaustion and restlessness that must have been plaguing him for days, if not weeks. His scythe was resting against one of the pillars to his right, his gauntlet and ornaments on the chair beside him. He looked like any mortal man would, coming home from a long day of work.

"I thought I'd never see you again," Zagreus found himself saying, drinking in the sight of this man he adored so much, sitting merely a few feet from him, showing a weakness he'd never even acknowledged before.

His words caused Thanatos so lower his head even more, and he draws a hand over his face to collect himself.

"You know I could never do that to you," he said weakly, like on the verge of tears.

"Than... I am so sorry," Zagreus began. "I'm sorry. Our last conversation... in my chambers, I... you surprised me. You're usually so careful about these things, I never even thought you'd be... so open, so honest... and I-I just didn't know how to react. I'm sorry. I understand why you reacted... the way you did, I truly do now. Hell, I would have done the same," he added with a small laugh. Thanatos looked up at him, then, his eyes cold yet so honest. His gaze spoke of all the pain Zagreus had caused, a terrible soreness he could not simply wish away with time. "I'm sorry. You opened your heart to me, and I... made fun of you. It was wrong. And I truly, really am sorry." 

He wondered why it had been so easy for him to admit his love when he was on his own, with only the memories of Thanatos, and why now, in that exact moment, he was struggling with words. What had he imagined? That Than would just show up one day, perfectly content, that terrible occasion simply forgotten, and he'd be able to confess in a cocoon of happiness? He'd reacted poorly, and because of those earlier actions, it had to be like this. With a terrible feeling of shame gripping his own heart, and pain surrounding that of his love.

Perhaps he knew that even those words might not be enough to mend their relationship, but once he'd said them, there would be no going back. Thanatos could simply ignore all of this, and leave him alone for the rest of their eternities. And I did that to him, he thought. He'd lain the deepest contents of his heart into my arms, and I just threw them away.

"Than, I love you."

He meant to say it strongly, with conviction, the way Thanatos had, but his voice came out weak and broken. He had to tear his eyes away from Than's face before he could even see his reaction. It won't be enough, he realized. This is how it ends? He couldn't stop the single tear running down his cheek, and he covered his face with his hands. Shutting his eyes forcibly, he willed himself not to cry, not yet, he still had to face Thanatos, he had to be strong, or he'd end up pleading on the floor of this very public space barely out of earshot of his father's seat.

He'd call me a weakling, and he'd be right. I was weak before, and now I'm just pathetic. I lost Thanatos, but I still need to face him like a man.

His thought were interrupted by a pair of cold arms wrapping around him and a face burying in his neck. Thanatos was shaking as he hugged him. His hands moved of their own accord, and his shock barely registered in time to stop himself from pulling the man even closer.

"I... I don't understand-"

Instead of replying, Than just hugged him closer, forcing their chests together. Zagreus could only respond in kind, enveloping Thanatos in as fearsome an embrace as he could, doing his best not to think about what it could mean, things could still go wrong, after all... But he didn't care. If all he was to be allowed was this, then gods damn it, he would make the most of it. He breathed in the familiar scent of his partner, committing it to memory. He splayed his hands out over his back, mapping it, touching every part he could, holding him close all the while.

After some time spent like this, Thanatos settled down, no longer shaking, the deadly grip of his arms loosening, and Zagreus knew he was finally ready to talk. He hugged him close one last time, then released him from the embrace. Thanatos pulled away, his look still tired but his eyes finally calm.

Zagreus opened his mouth to say something - several things indeed - but thought better of it. Thanatos appreciated patience, despite everything that's passed between them, he usually just needed time to collect himself.

"I love you too, Zagreus," he said simply, his voice even, eyes honest. "I was so scared you didn't, I just couldn't face you earlier. To lose you - again, like this... I didn't have the courage. But I kept my eyes on you, every time you called for me. I was going to wait, but this time, you seemed so insistent, so I went, but by the time I arrived, you were already out. Well, dead, that is." He looked away with a small sigh. "I brought you here and asked Achilles to look after you while I went back to work so we'd have time to talk." He fell silent, looking out at the river like he usually did, standing here. "I thought I was going to lose you, Zagreus," he said, looking at him dreamily.

Zagreus slowly lifted a hand to Thanatos' face, to give him time to turn away, or swat his hand, or just disappear. Instead, Death Incarnate melted into the touch, a brush slowly forming on his cheeks.

"You're beautiful," was all Zagreus could say before pulling Thanatos into a kiss. He kept it slow, wishing to reassure to his love that he was there, and revel in the fact that he was still allowed to do this. He rested his forehead against Than's after. "I love you, Than. I really do." He looked into his eyes to fully convey the depth of his feelings. "I'm sorry I couldn't say it before."

Thanatos raised a hand to stroke some hair out of Zag's face.

"I'm sorry, too, that I was so impatient before. This... is not my strong suit." He looked deep into Zagreus' eyes. "But I'm happy to hear you say it now."

They kissed again, deeper this time, slowly enjoying the regained closeness of each other.

"I love you too, Zag."


	2. i'm yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pure, unadulterated smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i wrote this w my roommate around, heres her contribution: the penis doing a big and hard working.  
> enjoy.

"I see you lads have finally figured things out," Achilles called to them some time later from the hall's entryway. Zagreus smiled brightly at him, but Thanatos jerked away from his touch, tensing. "I can come back later," Achilles added, seeing their mixed reaction.

"No, don't," Thanatos said. "We shall inconvenience you no further." He gave his shed gauntlet a nasty look. "I suppose we'd best get back to work, too."

"You're telling me that I just got you back," Zagreus said, "and you already want to run back to work?" He smiled teasingly. "Simply because we're not alone anymore?"

"I-" Thanatos began, looking away to try and hide just how deeply he blushed at that.

The soft, deep laugh of Achilles saved him from further explanations.

"If you want to go back to the surface, O Death, I think you might find out just how potent your brother's sleeping spells are," he said with a smile. "The halls have been swamped with shades these past few weeks, forcing this house into overdrive. You might want to give them a chance to catch up with you."

"So it's either me or this wonderful little bed, all by yourself," Zag said. "There's also a bed in my room, he added seductively.

"I'm... not sure the timing is appropriate."

"No. It's perfect."

Zagreus took Than's hand, the one he usually wore his gauntlet on, and kissed his knuckles, to further prive his point. Than finally seemed to take the hint, and with a sheepish smile, gathered Zagreus into a kiss.

"Let's go then."

¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤

As wonderful as it would have been to let Than take him directly to his bedroom, he made them walk, just to show everyone that things were finally, finally back to normal. However, with all the shades milling about, their progress was slower than usual, and by the time they got to Zag's chambers, his thirst for Thanatos was almost unbearable.

He pressed him up to the hallway's wall several steps away from his room, and kiss him with all the sadness and longing he'd kept inside for weeks.

Thanatos dropped his scythe in his hurry to bury his fingers in Zag's hair, pulling him closer, kissing him back with matching passion.

"I missed you so much," Zagreus said inbetween kisses. Thanatos flipped them around, crowding into Zag's space, letting his tongue wander around the other man's mouth. He took his hands from his hips, caught Zag's wrists and slowly slid them up the wall, kissing him more languadly, but just as deeply. When his hands were pinned above his head, he broke away, leaving Zagreus panting, taking one hand to lift Zagreus' face to his own, and looked into his eyes with a soul-piercing gaze.

"You're mine," he said with his usual simplicity, his voice low and rough, his pupils dilated. "And I will not let you go again."

Before Zagreus could respond, he attacked his mouth again, letting his wrists go and instead, interlacing their fingers. Free to move a hand, Zagreus grapped his ass and pulled him in closer, and gasped into their kiss when he felt Than's hardness grind against his own.

"I want you," he said, sneaking his hand to the front of Than's clothing, cupping him eagerly. 

"Then, you shall have me," Thanatos said, pulling him away from the wall. He flipped him around, then pushed him forward. Zagreus was about to protest when their environment shifted, and he found himself falling flat on his face - in his bed.

"Normally, I don't like it when you do that," he said, turning around, "but this was unbelievable."

And that wasn't even the real surprise. Thanatos was standing arm's reach away from him, his hair already messy from their earlier activities, his whole expression that of wanton desire. His ornamentation must have disappeared along with the hallway, Zagreus thought he might have heard them clatter on the tiles. Yet his single elaborate piece of clothing was not yet fully off, he had draped it off his shoulder, and it was now hanging off his hips, held in place by his belt alone.  
Zag's mouth went dry at the sight, memories of all the things they used to do flooding back. Pictures of all the things he wanted to do right now. Unable to stop himself, he sat up, being drawn in by the sight before him.

Than only watched as he reached out a hand to touch his muscular stomach, then slide his hands up to his chest.

"You are stunning," he said, reverence clear in his voice.

"So are you," the god of Death responded, snooping down to kiss his lover. "Tell me what you want."

"You," Zagreus said without thinking, runnning his hands over everything he could reach, not willing to be even a millimeter away from his love. "You, Than, I've been craving you for so long, I-"

He was silenced by another kiss, his need mirrored in the lips of his lover. They lost themselves in their passion, hands and tongues exploring, relearning their old habits, their minds focused only on the feel of the other's body, so close to them at last.

As usual, it was Thanatos who brought them back. He smoothed a hand down Zag's face, slowly retreating from him.

"I have so many things to say... to do to you..."

"I'm here, aren't I?" Zagreus responded, sitting back on his heels, slowly peeling away the rest of Thanatos' clothing, only to reveal his hardened cock. Zagreus looked up into his lover's eyes as he slowly wrapped a hand around it. Thanatos drew in a quick breath, but managed to control his reactions otherwise. 

Time to change that.

He leaned forward to slowly lick the (well, gorgeous, really) cock in front of him, but before he could, a hand in his hair stopped him.

"I don't think I'm quite ready for that," Than warned, but Zagreus just gave him a smile, and drew his tongue over him anyhow. This time, his reacions were much more notable: he shut eyes forcibly and gripped his hair, almost to the point of pain.

"You said you had many things to do to me," he said. "I have some things for you too,"

And with that, he took the head of Than's dick in his mouth, sucking like his life depended on it. He couldn't look up to see Than's reaction, but judging by the way his hips thrust into his mouth, he believed he was doing rather well. With one hand, he kept stroking the base of his penis, whilst gradually taking more and more of his length into his mouth, swirling his tongue over the head now and again, his other hand groping at Than's butt.

After a while, he felt Than's legs start to shake, and let go of his cock with an audible pop, leaving a small strand of saliva behind. He leaned back in to lick it up, kissing Than's cock one last tiem (for now), pushing a little into the slit, eliciting a sweet, sweet moan from his naturally silent lover.

He kissed his way up to Than's neck, lingering there a little to leave a small mark, just to make sure his intentions were clear.

"I want to fuck you," Than blurted out while Zag was still occupied with his neck. He froze immediately, his cock twitching in interest, suddenly aware that he was still fully clothed.

He drew away slowly, and, not fully trusting him to open his mouth just yet, nodded eagerly. Thanatos pulled him upright, folding him into a slow kiss, his hands making quick work of Zag's simple clothing. Once he was naked, Than took a step back to admire him. Even without words, Zagreus could see the adoration in his eyes, and was filled with utter joy at the fact that he was allowed to be with this man. Incarnation of Death, but well, same difference.

"Turn around," Thanatos said, and Zagreus was eager to comply. He even went so far as to get on the bed on his hands and knees, earning a slow, appreciative hum. He could feel cold hands settling on his hips, then moving to his ass, kneading, then slowly spreading his cheeks apart. Before he could prepare himself for anything more, he felt a hot breath on his opening, then Thanatos licked him without any warning.

Surprise and passion collided; he jumped a little and moaned wantonly at the same time. He couldn't see it, but Than's face erupted in a satisfied little smirk, and then he got back to work. He licked slowly at first, kneading Zag's ass at the same time, getting him to relax first, so by the time he inserted his tongue, there was no resistance - at first. As he kept going, starting to really fuck this wonderful underworld god with his tongue, he needed to be careful, at times, he could feel Zagreus tensing, but the dark haired god was so lost in the sensations, he barely even noticed. Still, Thanatos was not looking to hurt him.

"Than, please, more," Zagreus called out after a while, impatient for more. "I'm ready," he said, wiggling his ass a little.

Thanatos frowned. "I'm not sure."

"Please, Than, I need you," he said, with such desperation, Than could do nothing but obey him.

"Okay. Turn around."

After some shuffling, some hurried kisses and many, many touches, Than was finally in position, holding himself ready at Zagreus' entrance.

"Tell me if it hurts," he said, before slowly starting to push forward.

The feeling was more, much more than either of them remembered. Zagreus, the louder of the two, let out a long, low moan, and even Thanatos had to join him in making all kinds of nasty sounds. The feeling of having his lover, even a small part of him, wrapped around him was so exquisite, he could barely hold himself back from slamming himself in fully. But Thanatos was nothing if not self-controlled; he kept his pace slow, relishing every second of this drawn out joining.

Once he bottomed out, Zagreus threw his arms around him and pulled him down into a kiss, as the older man slowly started to move, causing them to moan into their kisses. They both lost themselves to the sensation of this most wonderful, cherished act, until Zagreus breathed out a broken "I love you," and that last fibre of self-restraint Thanatos had broke. He began moving in earnest, balancing himself on his hands. Zag called his name like it was the only sound that could bring him joy in the world, and for Thanatos, it was too much; he took a hand and started stroking Zagreus more or less in time with his thrusts, but it was too late, he was coming already, his mouth forming around Zagreus' name, dragging him down into this pool of pleasure and happiness.

He held himself upright, after, only lowering his head to rest on top Zag's, stealing a few chaste kisses, until Zagreus came back to himself fully. He laughed, that short, sweet laugh, that speaks volumes of a life lived carelessly, and Thanatos was even more smitten than before.

"I love you," he said dreamily, earning a smile beautiful as the night.

"And I am filthy," Zagreus countered, trying to push Than off to the side to lie on his back. "You need to get off me."

"I told you, I am not letting you go."

Again, that wonderful laugh.

"You can hold my hand while you move half a breath away." And so he did. When he was settled next to Zagreus in his bed, he felt so happy, and so calm, he never wished to leave. "And, hey," Zagreus - his lover, his partner, his love - called, turning to look at him. "I love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to everyone who commented, and to everyone here, i hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as the first one  
> my next uh 'work' is going to be a modern AU with these two, im hoping to find someone to write it/roleplay it with me, so if ud like, hit me up on [my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ner-vod) or in a comment here  
> also idk if u know someone whod be interested in that let me know i loved doing reaction writing  
> happy holidays

**Author's Note:**

> i am thinking of adding a smut chapter, please let me know what you think  
> and of course, thanks so much for reading, i love these two


End file.
